Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dating anxiety

When I first started this blog a few months ago I thought I would be writing more about art and other more esoteric subjects. Ha. Instead I have found a common bonding with other bloggers on the grittier day to day stuff, such as being a single parent, dealing with teenagers, and the seemingly impossible quest to find Mr Right. Who apparently is hiding from us all.

In the last week I had my first date in 6 months, with a man I found through an internet dating website. He’s cute, has an interesting and very respectable job, has children, his own hair and teeth (!) and can play the guitar. So far all good, but I am now in the position of not wanting to tell the teenager about it until I have had a few more dates, and know if we want to pursue this. When there are just two of you living together, there is very little privacy. If someone rings me, I get “who was that?”, and if I get coy she is instantly suspicious. I am trying to remind myself that I am the parent, she is the child, but previous experiences have taught me that any date leads to a barrage of questions, and if there is a whiff of internet attached to it, a smirk of mild derision is included. Hence my coyness.

So now I am left trying to come up with a ‘how I met your mother’ story for my date, whilst feeling stupid about it at the same time.

I don’t want to scare him off with visions of a) some deranged, possessive, bunny-boiler of a teenager, of which she is neither, or b) me being tragically weak and completely ruled by my daughter. My passive solution so far is that in six weeks she will be off travelling for several months, and I will have the time and space to date without this anxiety, and if he is the sort of man I am after he will be patient. Just not sure how to handle it between now and then.

Back to painting – four weeks to show time.

Friday, May 22, 2009

This week's wrap...

...is very brief!

  • My lovely daughter returns from a week away with her dad, hurrah!
  • I've been short-listed for a biggish art prize....and finished two small works for a group show.
  • I'm very honoured to have been asked to gift a work to a major breast-cancer fund-raiser. I think everyone of us knows someone who has been affected by this, directly or indirectly.
  • I'm planning a weekend of cooking tapas for a friend's birthday party, and trying out salt-cod fritters for the first time.
  • I am smitten by my new Shiatsu therapist.
  • I have made a fresh start on my thesis, 982 words - it's a start!
  • I have a date next week!
Have a great weekend,

x Sunday

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Tagged...

The lovely and helpful notsupermum has tagged me, so please bear with me as I do my best to answer the following, my first go as a newbie blogger, with my own bonus question!

What are your current obsessions?


Apart from cheese which is a perpetual obsession (washed rind, or any form of goats cheese being my favourites), I am currently into detail. Noticing the small things I often pass by.

What's for dinner tonight?

Oysters, (it's a treat, I've been to the market today), champagne (celebrating my child-free week), and Ribollita that's currently simmering away, courtesy of the River Cafe cookbook.

What's the last thing you bought?

A new skirt (all my clothes are falling to bits), and a hugely expensive paintbrush, which I am terrified of ruining.

What are you currently listening to?

Mazzie Starr, and some old Joan Armatrading, which brings back loads of happy memories! And a bit of Keith Jarrett piano music..... and always a bit of Van Morrison, especially his Astral Weeks album . Can I keep going? I've been enjoying Portishead's Glory Box as well.

What are your favourite holiday spots?

Paris, Umbria and Vietnam. Or any quiet country town at least an hour away from home. I haven't had a holiday for a while.


What are you reading now?

Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility, and Gaston Bachelard's Poetics of Space. I read a lot as part of my studies, but not all of it is that pleasurable. The last novel I enjoyed was Eat, Love, Pray, by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Use 4 words to describe yourself?

Optimistic, creative, awkward, compassionate.


What is your guilty pleasure?


Champagne, and salt & vinegar crisps.

If you could change anything about your life so far, what would it be?

That I'd trusted my instincts more. But I really wouldn't want to change anything today, other than maybe find a gorgeous, loving partner.

What do you fear the most?

(Apart from an inexplicable fear of falling off a container ship out at sea in the dead of night, with freak waves rising!), losing my daughter. Not that I expect to.

What's on your bedside table?


A bedside light, six books ranging from art theory to poetry, a phone charger, a box of matches and a tea-light candle, an alarm clock radio that kills me by going off unexpectedly from time to time (especially on Sundays), and several hair elastics. A water glass and a box of tissues. And a tiny painting from the once-potential boyfriend.


What's the best thing you ate or drank recently?

Contemporary Turkish food - my friends took me out for my birthday to a gorgeous muffin of a restaurant, with simple but amazing food. Lots of small plates of yummy dishes. I ate far too much and loved every minute of it!

What work of art, piece of music, sight, book or film has most moved you?
(This is the question I have added to the list)

I once saw the Rothko Chapel in Houston. I didn't cry as some reportedly do, but I was in awe. I first saw the Great Pyramid for the first time at dusk, from very close by as I opened the shutters in my bedroom, and its size and closeness literally took my breath away. Some music has moved me to tears.

I haven't a big list of blogs I follow as yet, but over to you, Mrs. Jane Doe of A Well-Kept Home

Cheers,

Sunday




My teenager-free week

Day Three, and I must admit it's been lovely. I miss her of course, but it IS nice to have a break.

I started off with a Shiatsu massage for my arms, which have been sore from painting. This was my first foray into 'alternative' therapy, and apart from some nervousness when acupuncture was mentioned, I trusted my lovely (and handsome!) doctor, and let him have his way with me. I had needles stuck in my arms and legs, massage which included him standing on me at one stage, and some suction cups stuck to my back, which have left interesting red circles! I'm feeling better already!

I've put myself back on an Internet dating site for the week, and have already spoken to one interesting man; I've been to galleries to see exhibitions I've been meaning to see; I've been to the market and am now cooking up a storm; I'm planning a tapas birthday dinner for a girlfriend; and most importantly, I am getting some rest. AND I get to come home to a house as tidy as I left it, rather than something that looks like it belongs in Baghdad.

The sweetest thing is that the teenager still sends me texts telling me what she's doing, and calls to say goodnight. Bless.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A holiday!

For the first time ever, the ex-husband has decided to take the teenager on holiday. This morning as I drove them to the airport, I wondered how they would cope with each other. It will be a shock to him, not having been in her company for more than 48 hours since she was 9 years old. She on the other hand will be far from friends and home, and a patient, if trying, mother, and is nervous.

So how will I cope? I have a week to myself, a week to ponder the big questions in life, and the small. A week to do a lot, or to do very little. A week to come home to a house in exactly the same state as I left it in. A week to work late if I feel like it, work on my thesis, bring men home (I live in hope!), talk to the cat without being ridiculed, talk to my friends without eye-rolling, and a week to not be a taxi service! I will miss her, but I suspect the break will do me good. No, actually I KNOW it will. First on the list is to buy a bottle of champagne!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A small victory!

I have been a little distracted lately by the threat of a major intrusion into our quiet little street. I love my neighbourhood, it is a wonderful mix of old migrants who grow vegetables in their front gardens, uber-cool young urban professionals, families with young children, artists, musicians and other like-minded people. There are old houses and new, and a few converted warehouses, like mine.

Until now it has been a peaceful pocket in the inner city. You can imagine my distress to learn that the factory across the road had been let to a dog day care centre. Apart from the obvious 'why would anyone have a dog if it has to go to day-care' question, the thought of a factory full of dogs barking all day everyday forced me into action. After much lobbying and many objections, it went to a special council meeting to be decided last night. All the neighbours turned up, and the application was rejected. It was great to see so many people from so many walks of life unite for a common cause, and I am so proud of them. I love my neighbourhood.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The dreaded forward

I am in danger of becoming a grumpy old woman.

After opening my email this morning, I found two more forwarded links from friends. These friends are very dear to me, but I am aware of a general increasing tendency to communicate by forwarded messages, and I am SO OVER IT! I want to hear their news, how they are, and what they're up to, NOT some rarely funny or inspiring, schmaltzy powerpoint with tacky words that I haven't the time or interest to watch.

Has anyone else noticed this increasing phenomenon, and does it bother anyone else?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Birthdays and boyfriends

Having just had a birthday, it suddenly struck home that I only have 364 days left as a ‘forty-something’ woman. Yes, I am staring down the barrel of The Big One. And I am nervous. There is so much still to do, and somewhere on this list is finding a suitable man.

I had a lovely birthday, a family dinner with the ex-husband and friends, lunch with the ex-boyfriend (still gorgeous, but still gay), and lots of texts and calls from friends near and far. But I still sleep alone, and I am ‘so over it’ as the teenager says.

A plan is needed, a list of things to accomplish before The Big One. I plan to dream big.