Oy vey. I am in my last days of painting before the work is picked up for the show, exhausted from going to openings every night this week (fun!) and The Third Date with the cute, interesting, stable man. On the first date he paid for dinner, and the second he went to, but I offered, and did, and now on our third dinner date, he went to pay but I sensed some hesitancy, so fumbled for my wallet, put out my credit card (I seriously hope my bank manager is not reading this!), and suggested we went halves. I thought he might say no, but he didn't. This is after me answering all his questions about the art world, how it's like being paid once a year, and so usually pretty tough just before a show. So he knows I'm an artist, single mother, without any support from my ex, and he can well afford to pay.
On top of all this I'm just not feeling the 'chemistry' kicking in. I got a quick peck on the cheek before he rushed off to catch the last train. I'm wondering if he's looking for a wife replacement, forgotten how to date, or just plain stingy? And I'm remembering how much fun I had when I was seeing The Younger Man - casual dinners at the local pub, with lots of fun and passion! Yes we’ve had great food and wines, but not a lot else. I want someone who makes me catch my breath when I see them, who makes me wild with desire, someone who I miss, and can’t wait to see again. I’m not sure where to go from here, but I suspect it’s the thanks but it’s just not working for me line.
I had a small melt-down yesterday, ruined one painting, and painted out another, I'm not sure if I'm being too critical, but I really want my dealer to like and believe in the new work. Being in another city they've only seen images so far. I still have enough work, but it would be nice to have enough that I could be more selective about what hangs.
Back to the brushes.
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Stingy bugger! If anything it was his turn to pay. I'm sorry he's turned out to be like that, but I'd say go with your instincts.
ReplyDeleteI know it's a difficult time for you right now with the show coming up, and I haven't even met you. He should have picked up on what you said and treated you better than that.
I'm sorry, you didn't ask for my opinion but that just annoyed me.
You probably ARE being uber-critical about the paintings at this stage before the show, but believe in yourself. You've come this far and the show is imminent, of course you're going to be nervous. Hey, if all else fails I could do a couple of paintings 'after Jackson Pollock' that you could slip in to fill any gaps. I can't say fairer than that now, can I?
GOOD LUCK!!
The last word verification on my comment was 'bless'. It's a sign!
ReplyDeleteOh, bless YOU!! Thank you. Oddly I just had an enquiry out of the blue about two paintings, from someone unaware of the up-coming show, and they're coming to have a look tomorrow before they go. Thanks for the offer of the 'fillers', I"ll get back to you on that one!!
ReplyDeleteI can't decide whether he was being stingy or thought he'd offend by refusing, but apart from all of that, the question of 'the spark' is the big one. It's all too much for me right now, I'll just try to focus on the show until it's on it's way, my daughter until she's on her way, and then ponder what is (or is not!) going on with this man. Right now I'm not sure I even feel like trying another date. I had a lot more spark with the PB - maybe I should give him another nudge?
Thanks for your comments, I do appreciate them!