Poppyseeds in my teeth

Three months since the last post. Once again it's not for lack of things to write about, but rather where to begin. Wine and poppy seed cake are helping me make a start.

It has taken three months to get back to some semblance of fitness after the hospital incident, but as they say, there is a some good in everything. My invitation to enter a major drawing prize lead not only me producing a large number of drawings, but also to win the award. Drawing was the perfect activity during my recuperation. Inspired by this I put in a proposal for an exhibition of very large drawings which today was accepted. I didn't expect that!

It isn't easy being an artist. I know all my friends with 'real' jobs laugh when I say this, but it's true. It's hardly the romantic picture conjured up in movies of soft lighting, billowing white shirts and lots of wine, food and sex. It's hard. It's messy, expensive and often means months of no income. Top it with being a single parent and try getting a bank loan. I am my bank manager's worst nightmare. Galleries take 40-50% commission, even on prizes; add materials costs, freight and framing, tax and studio rent and before you know it 20% of the selling price is looking pretty good. Despite this, I wouldn't swap my life for any one's. Is it OK to just have a niggling, momentary envy of others who can buy nice face creams, wine and shoes?!? Momentary because as soon as I open the newspaper and see what others are going through around the world I feel fortunate and petty for thinking otherwise.

The Boyfriend remains, and I have yet to make sense of it all. Officially homeless, he recently bought a flat not far from me. He's in that awkward stage of settlement being too soon to rent elsewhere, but nothing so short-term being available. The Teenager and our own small home make it difficult for me to offer more than a few days at a time, and a relationship based on needs rather than desire isn't the best. I've put it in the 'review later' basket for now. Meanwhile we still have some fun amongst the chaos. For all the chaos I still seem to attract some media interest; another publication is about to do a feature on my home. It's great but it would be really great if they would write about my work instead of my home, for a change.

I have so much more to catch up on, but at this moment I need my bed. Enough wine and cake, and enough of a ginger cat who has just discovered poppy seed cake. Surely it can't be that good for him?