Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The interference of feelings

Somewhere along the line during the last month I have fallen from being smitten to being bemused, besotted and finally, broken. Yes, I fell totally for the lodger. I have spent the last four weeks with a man in my bed who has made me laugh, think, eat and drink, and it has been bliss.

Unfortunately we are not in the same place, recently single he is in no way ready to leap into another relationship. And I would be deeply wary of anyone who was. But it seems that I appear to want more than he does, and perhaps I do. Not today, not this month, but maybe later, when he is ready. Sadly today my growing feelings have made him feel cornered, he has withdrawn, and I am left feeling confused and abandoned.

It seems after one marriage, one great love and numerous short-term relationships I still understand very little about men. However I do know that I am best to look after myself, continue to live well, live in the moment, and be positive about all that I do have. But it still hurts, and even though he remains under the same roof I miss him madly.

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