Is it me or is life just busier than ever? It seems like every day there are more things that need to be done than can really be accomplished. I have read a little about mindfulness and think it a great idea. It's just hard to put into practice. If I were to just think about my toast when having breakfast, then my tea, then focused purely on what I was reading in the paper before checking my emails and feeding the cat, it would be lunchtime before I got anything else done. Ask any mother, we are the champions of multi-tasking. I can have breakfast, skim the paper, make a cup of tea, check my mail, feed the cat and load the dishwasher all in the space of 15 minutes. As well as engage in some form of early morning communication with the teenager. I'm not saying that's ideal, but it means I get to the studio at a reasonable time, and get a lot done.
I love water aerobics. Apart from keeping fit, it is a study in humanity. A bunch of strangers of all ages, shapes and sizes, all leaping about in close proximity to each other in the pool, before reverting to our normal clothed selves, and heading back out into the world. I know no one's name, where they live, or what they do, it's a funny thing but it's like a little community as we greet each other each morning. It's one of the things I love about inner city living, we form many little communities, some of which overlap and others that don't. I have another at the cafe near my studio, with the same group of people having coffee on the way to work. Maybe it's because we are in a city that we need to connect and form these communities.
I still have had no communication with the ex. It's sad, but I think he prefers it this way, it's easier for him to be angry with me than acknowledge the hurt he's caused, and it probably helps cover up any guilt or feelings he may still have for me. And of course the girlfriend is always on hand to fan the fire.
The potential boyfriend remains disappointing and emotionally unavailable, and continues to let me down. His separation is so much more recent than mine, and I know that he is in no shape or place to become involved with someone else right now, it's just disappointing to meet someone who otherwise ticks all the right boxes. I know that I need to move on but a part of me wants to cling to the dream, as it's taken years to find someone like him.
Back to painting, it is the one thing I can do with complete mindfulness. I get lost in what I am doing and thoughts about everything else disappear.
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Totally agree, life is so busy. I wrote a list of Things To Do over the easter break and I've only managed to do one of them. I seem to be paralysed with indecision. There are so many things waiting to be done I can't make a decision on which one to do first. Well, that's my excuse anyway.
ReplyDeleteThe potential boyfriend sounds interesting. Perhaps he could just be a friend until he is ready for something more? Difficult for you perhaps, but better than losing him altogether?
You are not alone! I am overwhelmed by all that needs doing and trying to prioritise. I have made a small start by dealing with the things that cause me the most anxiety. It's a start.
ReplyDeleteI have asked the potential boyfriend if he would like to do something next week, and he said yes. You are right, I just want it all, now!