When I first started this blog a few months ago I thought I would be writing more about art and other more esoteric subjects. Ha. Instead I have found a common bonding with other bloggers on the grittier day to day stuff, such as being a single parent, dealing with teenagers, and the seemingly impossible quest to find Mr Right. Who apparently is hiding from us all.
In the last week I had my first date in 6 months, with a man I found through an internet dating website. He’s cute, has an interesting and very respectable job, has children, his own hair and teeth (!) and can play the guitar. So far all good, but I am now in the position of not wanting to tell the teenager about it until I have had a few more dates, and know if we want to pursue this. When there are just two of you living together, there is very little privacy. If someone rings me, I get “who was that?”, and if I get coy she is instantly suspicious. I am trying to remind myself that I am the parent, she is the child, but previous experiences have taught me that any date leads to a barrage of questions, and if there is a whiff of internet attached to it, a smirk of mild derision is included. Hence my coyness.
So now I am left trying to come up with a ‘how I met your mother’ story for my date, whilst feeling stupid about it at the same time.
I don’t want to scare him off with visions of a) some deranged, possessive, bunny-boiler of a teenager, of which she is neither, or b) me being tragically weak and completely ruled by my daughter. My passive solution so far is that in six weeks she will be off travelling for several months, and I will have the time and space to date without this anxiety, and if he is the sort of man I am after he will be patient. Just not sure how to handle it between now and then.
Back to painting – four weeks to show time.
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I know this is tricky for you, but ultimately you (and I) are entitled to some privacy, and it's not the end of the world if you don't tell her everything little detail. In the same way, the new date doesn't need to know the trials of tribulations of Living With A Teenager. Time enough for that if things work out well between you.
ReplyDeleteI also get the spanish inquisition if the phone rings and it's for me. Who's that Mum? they chirrup. My secret lover/George Clooney/the woman from the naughty children's home just checking your details, have been my most recent replies. That'll teach them the little nosey buggers!
I'm really pleased you had a good date, he sounds very promising! Are you planning to see him again soon? Never mind your daughter being nosey, I am too!
Hey (not)Supermum!I loved your suggestions re spanish inquisition answers - I can't wait to use them!!!
ReplyDeleteRe the date there has been HUGE progress!! He has pinned me down to a "PROPER" date this Friday night - and the teenager asked if I was doing anything on Friday night, so I told her! Once she picked herself up from the floor, she started with the questions, but I just said we met at an opening a couple of weeks ago - and she is completely fine about it. (And much more interested in her own social life!) I'll keep you posted!
Are you going to try another site?
Oooh, sounds good, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Friday night. I really hope it goes well.
ReplyDeleteWould you believe that I looked at Match.com, and did a search for suitable men and one them looked strangely familiar....erm,....isn't that...MY BROTHER!!! OMG! I think for now, I'm going to leave it. But there has been an interesting development....
Thanks, I'm actually looking forward to it!
ReplyDeleteCan't believe you found your brother - how funny!! Did you tell him?!!
Now, WHAT is the interesting development??? C'mon, spill!!
No, didn't tell my brother because I didn't want to embarrass him (he's quite shy) and also didn't want to say I was considering internet dating.
ReplyDeleteThe development may turn out to be nothing, but I realised recently that there is a man I see almost everyday and we do chat very briefly sometimes, and I think he's really nice. (Actually, he's my youngest daughter's teacher!) I don't know if he's married (no wedding ring, and I suspect he's single) but not sure what to do next. I've no idea what he thinks of me but he's always very friendly. Suggestions? I can't remember what I would have done in the past, it's been that long!
Maybe you could tell your brother you're considering it, and see if he opens up? Could be fun to swap stories and advice!
ReplyDeleteI imagine dating the teacher would go down well with the girls!!! Ha ha! Still... we ARE entitled to a life beyond just being a parent. It's a hard one to call - is he just naturally friendly, or do you get that 6th sense that he might be a bit friendlier with you?
I am feeling so rusty at this myself, being six months since the last proper date with the PB. Maybe ask him if he'd like to go for a coffee, and see what happens? If he's got someone he'll say. A coffee is pretty harmless and can be read as just a friendly gesture, so not too embarrassing if he says no! As he's already nice to start with, I'm sure it won't be awkward. Good luck!
x Sunday
Pd Love your garden pics!